In order to celebrate George Carlin’s newest exclusive, HBO Special, Literary Illusions is proud to be giving away five SIGNED posters of George Carlin. Please make sure you read the rules because this contest is a little bit different then our other contests. This time around you need to leave a comment with your favorite George Carlin quote. Easily one of the best comics of our time, it should be simple to find a suitable quote to leave as a comment. Comments that come without a quote will be deleted. If you submitted without a quote and do do not see your entry, please feel free to enter with a quote and your entry will be added.
To enter all you need to do is leave us a comment with your quote. Please be sure to only leave one comment. Comments are moderated to avoid spam, so it will not show up right away. People who leave multiple comments will be deleted from the contest altogether. If you do not see your comment within a day then by all means leave another one. Otherwise, do not worry as we accept comments several times a day and we promise that we will get yours up.
To enter you need to be 18 years of age and a resident of the US. If you have won a contest within the last 30 days you are not eligible. Winners will be announced here. If we do not hear from you within 3 weeks from the date the winners are announced you forfeit your prize and we will select another winner. Prizes will be shipped within 45 days from the day you win.
We will begin choosing winners for this on March 10, 2008, which means you have until March 9, 2008 at 11:59 to enter.
America’s first and funniest counterculture spokesman stars in a new, uncensored 60-minute evening of stand-up comedy. Carlin’s 14th original solo HBO stand-up special, GEORGE CARLIN: IT’S BAD FOR YA is filled with the comic’s dead-on-funny insights on such issues as: the advantages of being old; euphemisms associated with dead people; child worship and the failure of the so-called “self-esteem” movement; his intolerance of stupid and/or boring people; how to respond to parents who show you pictures of their kids; civic superstitions like removing hats in a place of worship, or swearing on the Bible; and above all, our abnormal preoccupation with BS, i.e., “stuff that’s bad for ya!”
GEORGE CARLIN: IT’S BAD FOR YA airs live from the Wells Fargo Center for the Arts in Santa Rosa, CA on Saturday, March 1 at 10 p.m. ET
Technorati Tags: George Carlin, It’s Bad for Ya, HBO Special, Comedian, Jokes, Funny, Signed Poster, Contest, Giveaway, Literary Illusions
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Written by Ryan the Admin - Visit Website
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Ryan is from California. He graduated from USC with a degree in English. In his free time, when he isn’t working as a Literary Illusions gopher (er…editor) he enjoys writing short stories.
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“Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.”
There are so many quotes that my husband and I could remember! We ended up trying to out-do each other and ended up laughing for hours!
My favorite George Carlin quote is, ” did you ever notice, your own farts, smell okay?” How true, how hilarious!
I would like to have one. I love George Carlin. And I am NOT a soccer mom with kids named, Jason and JENN-I-FER! I also believe that there are too many grave yards and golf courses.:) So true! I agree with him on so many levels…and he’s funny too!
There are seven words I could use to explain how excited I would be about winning this…
But I don’t wanna get banned…
I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
George Carlin ROCKS!
Have you ever Burped and tasted the hot dog you ate the day before?
“If it requires a uniform, it’s a worthless endeavor.”
“Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it”.
“Vinny and Louie will kick the s**t outta Kyle!” True, too many cutsey-pie “millenium - baby” names out there! (Kyle, Cody, etc.)
“I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.”
“Why do they they call it rush hour when everyone is sitting still!”
When someone is impatient and says, “I haven’t got all day,” I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
“Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it”.
“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept”
Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
Ive got seven words for you . . . but I can’t use them.
My favorite George Carlin quote is “The kid who eats the most marbles doesn’t go on to the second grade.”
From “A Place For Your Stuff” –
“So when you get right down to it, your house is nothing more than a place to keep your stuff…while you go out and get…more stuff. ‘Cause that’s what this country is all about. Tryin’ to get more stuff. Stuff you don’t want, stuff you don’t need, stuff that’s poorly made, stuff that’s overpriced. Even stuff you can’t afford! Gotta keep on gettin’ more stuff. Otherwise someone else might end up with more stuff. Can’t let that happen. Gotta have the most stuff…”
Left On! George. Your humour is timely and timeless.
“I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.”
“If only we had their numbers!”
George as Cardinal Glick in Dogma, talking about the tobacco industry.
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but
have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense,
more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too
little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
God Bless You George.
“The kid who eats the most marbles doesn’t go on to the second grade.”
“Hi - I’m your hippy-dippy weatherman.” (and I still laugh everytime I picture him at that weather map!)
“If you wanna know how stupid people are, think how stupid the average person is and realize that half of ‘em are stupider than that.”
The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.
Would love to have this. Love the “hippy-dippy weather man”. Have listened to George Carlin for years. Please count me in. Thsnks
So when you get right down to it, your house is nothing more than a place to keep your stuff…while you go out and get…more stuff.
“I’m the hippy-dippy weatherman. The forcest for tonight….dark…lasting from sundown to sun up.”
Loved that routine.
“Women like silent men, they think they’re listening.”
How true. Thank you!
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
George Carlin for President!
The list of words you cant say My husband thinks Mr carlin is the funniest man alive.He had a program signed by him and his EX trashed it for spite he would love to have this
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
“In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.”
The best ever is did you ever notice, your own farts smell okay?
even if i became a vegetarian, i would still cook bacon for the smell
My favorite Carlin quote is:
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
“The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.”
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
My husband and I are always talking about our “stuff” - a la george Carlin!!
My favorite Carlin quote: “You drive like old people F**k slow and sloppy”
All your house is is a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
Have you ever noticed that their stuff is shit and your shit is stuff?
[talking about las vegas] I got fired for using the word “sh*t” in a town where the big game is craps.
If it requires a uniform, it’s a worthless endeavor
My favorite Carlin quote is:
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
My favorite routine was Baseball vs. Football
Hi, I have always loved George Carlin’s “Stuff” monologue. It still makes me laugh! Please enter me in your drawing for one of his posters. Many thanks,Cindi
7 words you cant say on tv….you know what they are america
“In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.”
“How is it possible to have a civil war”
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity
That is what our house is: a container with a lid to cover our stuff, and a lock on the door for when we go out to get more stuff.
I love the man - he’s the fly on the wall - nails the hilarity of our lives on the head every time!
I always love to hear the Carlinism, “If you think there’s a solution, you’re part of the problem”.
, ” did you ever notice, your own farts, smell okay?” How true,
“Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it”.
He is so funny! I saw him out in Vegas.
“It’s never a game when you’re winning.”
I love this quote, just ask anyone in sports what they think of it!!!
My favorite George Carlin quote is “Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.”
*sniff*
“Could be meat.”
*sniff*
“Could be cake.”
*sssssssssnifffffffffff*
“It’s meat cake!”
“Dogs have eyebrows. Cats just have s%$t sticking out of their faces that they THINK are eyebrows”
OMG! I could go on and on! I think George Carlin is the funniest man on earth! Thanks for the contest! Hope I win….I can always use more stuff! LOL!
If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
“One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like”
“In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.”
I love this quote, and it’s so timely!
Please enter me, I’d love to win some “stuff”
Too many of my all time favorite Carlin gems are not suited for youngsters consumption, but here’s a fun, true one…
“The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.”