Born Again Baby Killer Denied Release
The craziest bitch in the Manson family has been denied early release from prison according to TMZ. Susan Atkins, known as one of the most prominent females in the Manson family (famous for cutting out Sharon Tate’s baby and writing Pig on the wall with the blood) has been in prison, along with Charlie and the others for decades. Now, Susan is a born again Christian who has only six months to live due to brain cancer. Susan wants out on the compassionate release program. Funny thing is, the crazy bitch almost made it out.

Looks like the L.A. County DA is the one to thank for her remaining locked up where she belongs. He said, “[Atkins] has failed to demonstrate genuine remorse and lacks insight and understanding of the gravity of her crimes.”

With that in mind, she will be remaining in prison for life, as planned.

Baby News
Paris Hilton is an ignorant, ugly slut that wants to get pregnant because she thinks that will make her popular again. So, while begging her puppy dog boyfriend, Benji, to knock her up, she spends her time wearing outfits that try to fool us into thinking that she might be pregnant. Seriously, like no one would know if the end of the world were approaching? Someone needs to do the world a favor and laser her uterus out while she’s trying to get her groove on in Vegas.

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are reportedly turning down deals for pictures of their first born, Sunday Rose Urban Kidman. It has not yet been released whether or not they will offer pictures, but it is being rumored that if they do, they might be given out for free. What a novel idea, considering bidding is as high as $3 million for Matthew McConaughey’s new son Levi and as high as $20 million for Brad and Angie’s twins, Knox and Vivienne.

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The idea of Courtney Love loosing powder is absolutely absurd. Now, you might want to take this news with a grain of salt, because it’s possible that Love was high and she snorted Cobain away. Anyway, the news is that Kurt Cobain’s ashes are missing. Love is saying that someone stole them. Apparently, she sprinkled some ashes in New York, some in Washington, and she kept some for herself.

She spoke to News of the World and told them:
“I can’t believe anyone would take Kurt’s ashes from me. I find it disgusting and right now I’m suicidal. If I don’t get them back I don’t know what I’ll do. The sad news will sicken the millions of Cobain and Nirvana fans worldwide. They were all I had left of my husband. I used to take them everywhere with me just so I could feel Kurt was still with me. Now it feels like I have lost him all over again.”

The fact that Love is claiming she’s suicidal is mildly comical since she’s been trying to kill herself for years. Sure, maybe not in the same way Cobain did, but she’s trying in her own special way. Adding that Kurt used to be toted around with her is even more amusing. You can just see her carrying her urn to drug deals and facing it the opposite way when she’s with her new boyfriends. I wonder if she would drop a little heroin or coke into the urn when she was getting a fix? I mean, it would have been just like old times. No wonder she’s distraught, she lost her crack buddy. You know what they say. It’s only an addiction when you’re getting fucked up alone.

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After ten years of marriage, and a total of seventeen years as a couple Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and wife Dany Garcia Johnson have decided to call their relationship quits. The separation was announced on Friday by The Rock in People Magazine.

The Rock told People:
“We’ve been fortunate enough to spend the last 17 years together as a couple and look forward to spending the rest our lives together as best friends and business partners. We will continue to advance and manage our business interests, our philanthropic efforts and most importantly the raising of our child together.”

As for raising their child together, TMZ is reporting that the two have agreed to both place $5,000 a month in a trust for their daughter, Simone. The seven year old will get to spend equal time with her parents who have agreed to share custody. Alimony will not be exchanged though The Rock will give a total of $22,454 per month to his ex-wife for child support.

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Charley Hill and Linda Hogan are an item. Before we get into the torrid details of their love I think we should offer them a nickname. We can’t use their last names because they are too similar. So I’m thinking we can go with Linley. Of course, this is a preliminary name. We might come up with something better down the road.

So, Hogan, who is the mother of two kids, both of which are pretty close to the legal age (Brooke is already legal, Jailboy is not), has decided to pick herself up some young meat. When I say young I mean 19 years old. If she wants a young guy that’s cool, but it’s a little odd that Mommy is playing in her son’s playground while he is off serving time in the clink.

According to TMZ, Charley was friends with Nick Hogan as a kid. In fact, they served as altar boys at a Florida church during their much younger youth. Charley was just one grade ahead of Nick and the boys would often play sports on the same teams.

You know what they say, people that pray together, stay together! Does this mean we will be seeing a lot more of Linley in the future? I don’t have an answer to that, but I think we should send condom donations to them, just in case. That’s definitely one baby bump I don’t want to see grow into existence.

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Once you have as many kids as Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have it hardly becomes breaking news. It’s just another day in the Jolie-Pitt family. However, on Sunday it is being reported that Angelina Jolie popped in France and her twin daughters with Brad Pitt have been born.

According to several reports including ones from E News and The Insider, the twin girls have been named Isla Marcheline and Amelie Jane. The names were after both grandmothers. Isla Marcheline received her name in honor of Angelina’s late mother and Amelie Jane in honor of Brad’s mom.

According to inside sources, both mother and babies are doing fantastic. If rumors are correct, Jolie gave birth Sunday evening at a Catholic clinic in Aix-en-Provence. It has been said that Jolie flew her doctor from California to France for the big moment. Of course, no official word has been given, but it does appear that the twins have been born.

The twins join the other children of Jolie-Pitt including Maddox, Zahara, Shiloh, and Pax. Keep in mind though that this may not be true. A few months back it was heavily rumored that the pair had wed in New Orleans, though it was later found to be just rumors and this could be, as well.

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Ok, we all know you can’t just “become” a lesbian, but maybe Lindsay Lohan has been harboring deeply hidden torches for women for a long time. It’s not against the rules of life to be bisexual and while LoHo obviously loves the c-ck, recent photos and eye witness accounts suggest the rehab princess has found a lady love.

Their names fit well togehter; Linds Lo and Sam Ro, or should we say popular NYC DJ, Samantha Ronson, who has been inseparable from Lohan in recent weeks. Lindsay accompanies Samantha when she DJs and they both go out partying and traveling together. Like LoHo, Samantha seems to have gotten around. This can be seen in photos from just a few months ago where Mary Kate Olsen is pressed up against Ronson, at the club, with some sort of lustful gaze in her eyes. Apparently, Ronson has an eye for the young celebrities in Hollywood…or they have an eye for her!

While LoHo and SamRo claim they’re just friends People.com is reporting that the duo was spotted on P. Diddy’s yacht holding hands and ‘being affectionate’ with one another. That sounds like another female pair that were ‘just friends’…Joan Jett and Carmen Electra. We all know that they were getting some action together so it is safe to say LoHo and SamRo have gone with the flow, if you know what I mean.

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Hollywood love can be so fickle. It’s easier to lump this shit altogether rather than making a number of posts that will need to be altered as soon as the wind blows. For now, this is the way things are.

Here we have a metrosexual (since people snap when I call him homosexual) in love with a Harry Potter star, a chick crush, and some Idol adoration. Along with that we have a divorce due to homosexual tendencies (I won’t say on which side) and an engagement that leaves us hoping the third times the charm…or is this the fourth time? I think I’ve lost count.

Joe Jonas and Harry Potter Sitting in a Tree

Oh whoops, did I write Harry. Sorry I thought the truth was coming out. My Bad! Alright, don’t get your nuts in a twist. Joe Jonas, the last remaining, soon to be 19 year old male virgin (by choice) on the planet (I think he means, virgin to females) has admitted he has a girl crush. He states to E! that it’s sad none of his brothers have a girlfriend (gee, I wonder why?), but is quick to point out that he is totally into Emma Watson. What he didn’t add is that he just wants to go shopping with her and have her paint his toenails! Rock on Joe!

Janet Jackson is Strutting Out (of the Closet)
Like her brother Michael, Janet Jackson is willing to admit her interest in the same sex. Well, in her case it’s not kids and there isn’t a carousel or underage drinking involved, but she’s talking to E! about who she would do if she decided to go carpet bagging. According to Janet, she would do Alicia Keys, because she’s wonderful. She wanted to add though that Alicia is not a lesbian, which has been speculated in the past. She thinks people say that because Alicia is a strong woman. Of course, having women come out and talk about the licky, licky with her name involved probably doesn’t help.

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The name of this list speaks for itself. Here we have 94 parents and 114 names that most people would not give their children. While some of the first names may seem traditional, when paired with their middle names they become quite strange. Then again, others are just completely out there.

1. 50 Cent - Bow-Ty
2. Adam Yauch - Tenzin Losel
3. Alice Cooper - Dashiell, Calico Dashiell
4. Andre 3000 - Seven Sirius
5. Andre Agassi - Jaz
6. Author Ashe - Camera
7. Big Boi - Bamboo
8. Bobby Brown - Laprincia
9. Bob Geldof & Paula Yates - Fifi-Trixibelle, Peaches, Pixie
10. Bono - Elijah Bob Patricius Guggi Q. Hewson, Memphis Eve
11. Brandy - Sy’rai
12. Cher - Elijah Blue
13. Christie Brinkley - Sailor Lee
14. Cindy Crawford - Presley Walker
15. Courtney Love & Kurt Cobain - Frances Bean
16. Danny DeVito & Rhea Pearlman - Lucie Chet, Gracie Fan
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We’ve seen Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens in High School Musical. We’ve seen him gallivanting around town and we’ve seen her naked for Zac…or Drake…or someone. Now we get to see them drinking. Word on the street is that spies caught the two, under 20 stars drinking at Lola’s in Hollywood on Friday night.

There have been rumors that the couple is on the outs. This could be because Zac has a penchant for flirting with groups of women at concerts. The 20 year old actor recently convinced people that he and 19 year old Hudgens are not over by calling her “a very sexy woman”.

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Now that the news has sunk in about sweet, little, church going Jamie Lynn and her secret world of sex, which led to a pregnancy, information (in this case it’s gossip) is coming out of the woodwork and it doesn’t look good for her, her image, or Nickelodeon.

Star Magazine is reporting that the father of Jamie Lynn’s baby is not Casey Aldridge, but a much older man that works for Nickelodeon. According to the magazine, no one is confirming this because the man would end up facing statutory rape charges. Casey was not charged, despite being legal, because the former couple are only two years apart in age.

According to Star sources:

“Casey is being paid off to be the family’s fall guy while the real father remains unidentified. The man many suspect is the father, however, would face charges and probably prison time if he were to come forward and admit he had sex with her.”

“In Hollywood, little girls grow up fast, and she is no exception. With everything that has gone on in her family, she needed someone to look up to. But the man she found seems to have completely taken advantage of her.”

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