This year’s Bravo Awards were hosted by Kathy Griffin. The less than liked comedian did at least one, semi-humorous skit and had plenty to say during her stint. Here are some of the most, off-the-wall shots from the festivities.

And the Award goes to Sluttiest Bitch on TV!
I didn’t watch the awards, but yeah this looks like Tila won some award. I’m not sure of the purpose of the Bravo awards, but I always thought they were given to the winner of the best shows on Bravo. Either way, I can only imagine what this hooch won! Hooker of the year maybe?

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Charley Hill and Linda Hogan are an item. Before we get into the torrid details of their love I think we should offer them a nickname. We can’t use their last names because they are too similar. So I’m thinking we can go with Linley. Of course, this is a preliminary name. We might come up with something better down the road.

So, Hogan, who is the mother of two kids, both of which are pretty close to the legal age (Brooke is already legal, Jailboy is not), has decided to pick herself up some young meat. When I say young I mean 19 years old. If she wants a young guy that’s cool, but it’s a little odd that Mommy is playing in her son’s playground while he is off serving time in the clink.

According to TMZ, Charley was friends with Nick Hogan as a kid. In fact, they served as altar boys at a Florida church during their much younger youth. Charley was just one grade ahead of Nick and the boys would often play sports on the same teams.

You know what they say, people that pray together, stay together! Does this mean we will be seeing a lot more of Linley in the future? I don’t have an answer to that, but I think we should send condom donations to them, just in case. That’s definitely one baby bump I don’t want to see grow into existence.

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Jo Frost is probably the expert on fixing messed up kids. I don’t normally take advice from those that don’t even have kids, but I’ve always had a soft spot for Jo. I am not sure why, but that British nanny just melts my cold, black heart. I am not a huge television watcher, but I can tell you, if Jo had Brit Brit on the show, my ass would be planted in front of the tube with some popcorn. Then again, in honor of Brit maybe I would have some Cheetos, Starbucks, and a side of Vodka.

Jo wants to help Britney because she believes she’s not a bad person and not a truly bad mother. She told Entertainment Tonight, “I do believe she loves her children very much and I’d be more than happy to help her.”

While I am glad that Brit didn’t take that skeezer, Dr. Phil’s help, I think she should go for this one. I wonder if they pay you to be on SuperNanny? If they did, K-Fed would go for it, because that could mean more money for him, too.

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Next time someone makes a guest list for a posh hotel opening they should either A. make a better list or B. make sure there is a dress code to go with the guests. Just the other night B-list, reality, and a couple of A-list stars popped over to the Palms Place to make an entrance and do some hobnobbing. Here are the highlights in the form of some of the ugliest, freakiest, or the most amusing.

The 90210 Pimp
See what happens when you do 90210 (twice)? I always found Steve, err Ian, to be an amusing character on the show, but he shouldn’t be wearing the Michael Jackson look-alike hat. It’s moderately creepy.

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So, I’ve been thinking. When you are caught drag racing because you can’t handle your car and you crash and turn someone into a vegetable for life, what do you do? Some of us might be apologetic. Others might run and hide. Still, others would pretend that they did nothing wrong. Unfortunately, some of the assholes that would do that are so dense that they might actually believe they aren’t at fault. Nick Hogan is one of these assholes.

Apparently, the youngest in the Bollea brood is not taking jail time as well as everyone had hoped he would. Come on, the kid is a privileged, yet pathetic teenager that thinks his daddy can get him out of anything. You expected adult behavior out of him? I highly doubt it. True to form, Nick has been sitting in jail, whining and crying to his mommy.

He doesn’t like prison. They have him in a single cell, isolated from everyone else. I don’t know if that’s his secret plea to allow for rape time or what, but apparently he’d do anything to not be alone. Hey, it’s his ass, not mine.

Despite pleading guilty, Nick doesn’t seem to have a nice thing to say about John, the guy he turned into a vegetable, now that he’s in the clink. In fact, audio tapes of Nick whining have recently surfaced and if he’s trying to get out on good behavior, these certainly aren’t going to do the trick.

Feel free to check out the audio below from TMZ. Some highlights of the conversation have been included for those that don’t want to hear the whiny bitch speak.

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I don’t watch White Oprah’s show Living Lohan and I never will because Dina is a trashy cuntbag that is just out to pimp her daughters and ride their waves of fame, because she’s a talentless hack. Regardless, someone is watching this shit and they are already buzzing about the great parental habits that Mommy Dearest seems to have.

For instance, on this first episode they show Dina watching a sex tape. No it’s not just any sex tape. It’s one of a Lindsay look-alike. Okay, most porn that’s done a look alike, claims to be the real person. So, considering we all know how Lindsay likes getting hers, what if it would have been her? Isn’t it a little disturbing that Dina wants Lindsay on her show so bad that she will put her own kid’s sex tape on the show to get ratings?

Hell, even if it wasn’t about that, she was watching a sex tape of someone that looks like her kid. I don’t sit around watching my deceased grandmother’s sex tapes, so I can feel closer to her. I just don’t know what’s up with this. However, one cannot help but wonder if this was a lesbian sex tape or not.

As if this wasn’t bad enough on its own, Ali, Lindsay’s 14 year old sister comes into the room while mom is watching this shit and asks if it’s Lindsay. Dude, seriously. If you are going to watch porn don’t let the kids see it. As it is, Ali’s role model is Lindsay so she’s already heading for a 3C addiction (cock, coke, and eventually clit). I doubt she needs anymore help with the inclusion of Mommy and Me porn time.

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Apparently Ashlee Simpson-Wentz has not learned anything from her sister. Well, either that or she realized she wasn’t going to make a living for much longer selling music with her vocal issues. To ensure a bright and successful life, the Simpson-Wentz clan are shopping around the idea of a Newlywed show in the same vein as the show that Jessica did with Nick prior to becoming a divorced, drunken slut with a penchant for football players.

I’ve heard of following in your sister’s footsteps, but isn’t this a little ridiculous?! Ashlee will, of course, be playing the Jessica role. This means she will be the moron and Pete gets to roll his eyes, laugh, and profess his love to a wife with the IQ of 12. While the couple has yet to find a network, they are shopping around, and even have footage they can offer as samples!

According to sources for OK Magazine:

“One scene is at a dinner and everyone is toasting to business ventures and important things like that. When it came to Ashlee, she toasts to jewelry, and Pete just shook his head.”

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I know, I know these are two things you never thought you’d hear together. It’s kind of like hearing peanut butter and sperm. They just don’t go together. Well, at least I think they don’t.

Nonetheless, it’s the talk of the town that Clay Aiken actually impregnated someone. Before I go on, let me just say, I hope they don’t use that turkey baster this Thanksgiving!

According to TMZ, Clay who is 29 has impregnated Jaymes Foster who is 50. Foster is a record producer who lives with Aiken in his LA home. From what is going around it happened through artificial insemination and Clay will help by actively raising his future son or daughter.

Foster is divorced and this will be her first child. She is due in August. This will also be Aiken’s first child. He has never been married, because, well, that just became legal in California.

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I just have to wonder what is wrong with this bitch. How do you come from Olivia Newton John and then end up sounding like a stuck pig on buy one sow, get one free day? Any way you look at it, Chloe Lattanzi is utterly disgusting. Not only is she like the ugliest, big-lipped, distorted face freak on the show (some of the Rock the Cradle‘rs are decent looking). She’s also by far the worst singer. I am shocked that she hasn’t left yet. I am starting to think there is a Rock the Cradle Vote for the Worst out there. If there is, this nappy headed, out of tune temptress (to blind people) could actually win the whole thing.

I thought last week was bad. When she did “I Hate Everything About You” and started trying to masturbate on stage and then you could see her snatch, I seriously almost vomited in my mouth. I tried to hold it in, afraid that it would projectile onto my television because she was the object of my vomit’s obsession, so I did my best to stop that. I do love my television, after all.

I have added the video below in case you feel you need to vomit, as well. This will help you. I promise.

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This week there are seven contestants left in the AI bunch. Last week offered the shocking removal of Michael Johns from the pack. This was disappointed because he was far more talented than some of the others that have been left on the stage to continue to compete. Tonight, the remaining seven will be singing Mariah Carey songs.

Ryan Seacrest mentioned that everyone was still shocked by Michael Johns leaving and the crowd booed. Obviously they were as disappointed with his removal as I was. He mentioned it just to remind everyone how important it was to vote. I have to admit, this reminded me of when Daughtry was kicked. Now he’s one of the best selling Idols in history. I think Michael Johns will end up meeting a similar fate and I definitely look forward to getting my hands on a CD with his name on it.

When Seacrest announced the judges, they went through the line, one by one, as always. Randy was shown in a shirt we’ve seen before, Paula was looking perky in purple, and Simon was doing his natural thing. I have to admit, I have been looking forward to this week. Due to the fact that there are so many men in the competition, I imagined that it would be quite amusing to see what they did with these songs.

Mariah just managed to be scheduled the week of her CD release E=Mc2. She mentioned that she didn’t like judging people and told the Idols to look at her like she was just a new friend. Yeah, that shouldn’t be a problem, at all. Randy says that he hopes they do not try to sound like Mariah tonight. Paula deffered to Randy’s comment. Simon said tonight is make or break for Randy.

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