Third Child Syndrome

One of my favourite jokes tells of the mother who, when her first child swallowed a coin, dashed to the hospital for x-rays and possible surgery, but by the time her fifth child swallowed a coin she simply docked it from his allowance.

Life is a bit like that in my house. Nap time for my first baby was a time of absolute silence, two uninterrupted hours snuggled in his own bed. For my third child nap time frequently means falling asleep in the car on the way to pick up others from school, being hauled, still asleep, to see teachers, and being popped back in the car and taken home to finish the nap in bed.

Today my somewhat clumsy third child fell over and managed to pierce his tongue with a tooth. Very messy, and the fact that he panics at the sight of blood didn’t help. I am sure that the screaming set off all the dogs in the neighbourhood. However, I have already made a hospital trip for this type of injury about 7 years ago, so I knew exactly what to do. A lime flavoured ice block, straight from the freezer, appeases a screaming child and stops the bleeding at the same time. I try to avoid red ice blocks, as it’s hard to see the extent of the injuries in a red stained mouth.

One of the most valuable characteristics a parent can have is flexibility. Many experienced parents can easily tell the first time parents just by seeing how the react in an emergency, or even by how stressed they are. The first timers pack up their bulging diaper bags and buckle babies into toy festooned strollers in time to get home for naps, while those of us who’ve been there are still grabbing another cup of tea and comparing war wounds, relieved that our charges are playing with each other and not eating the tablecloth.

Parenting styles change dramatically between the first baby and later ones. Some of it is the confidence of knowing what to do in a situation, and some of it, I think, is just having the realisation that kids are pretty adaptable, and things that seemed so important, like an iron clad routine, or the perfectly balanced diet, are not going to make or break your children.

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