American Idol’s Top 12 Slaughter the Beatles

Tonight was a hard evening for both of us. While we are both huge Beatles fans, Dom is by far, the biggest fan in the house. Singing the songs of Lennon/McCartney in a performance sort of way is sacreligious. That being said, there wasn’t much of a choice for any of us. The idols were doing songs by Lennon and McCartney whether we liked it or not. So, we tried to be more constructive than hateful for what they did, to ruin these wonderful songs.

To start things out, the top 12 got to perform in the big theater on a new loud set..that Ryan seemed totally proud of, by the way he kept showing it off and grinning like a Cheshire cat. He acted like he designed it personally. I don’t know why he was bragging about the horrendous thing. It’s gaudy and feels impractical. The only good part of it is the fact that it offers a trippy light show. The band is located higher, in their own penthouse, and the stage is larger. It also offers fans in the upper deck and a mosh pit. I guess if the idols and the judges like it, its okay, but from home, it looks like crap.

On to the judges, Paula was decked out in old lady bronze. She also had her typical tipsy (Rum & Coke) look on her face. Simon looked like he raided Enrique Iglesias’ closet with his metrosexual white, button down shirt, unbuttoned part way to expose his bare chest. Randy….looked like Randy. He wore a black long-sleeved tee, with white writing down the sleeves and some bling bling…aka a silver cross.

Randy mentioned that he thought the songs were the greatest songs in music and they will last forever. Paula thought the songs were full of melody, but if the idols risk it it by switching it up, they better be worth it and some can change things up. Simon said the songs are only as difficult as the ones that are chosen. “She Loves You” is easy… “Yesterday” is hard…duh.

Syesha was up first. She told her life story by saying she was active in everything growing up and remembers being surrounded by music. She remembers the oldies playing in the car as she grew up.

What she Sang: “Got to Get you Into my Life”

What she Wore: Black pants, a tank top and silverish, bronze button down half top

What we Thought: The band sounded good. That’s where it ended. The Beatles were slaughtered and it was only the first song. She sounded like a cruise ship singer, not anyone paying any tribute to the greatest band there ever was. It’s not that she’s off key, but she is considerably hokey and cheesy in her choice of performance.

What the Judges Said: Randy liked the arrangement. It had that Earth, Wind, and Fire vibe. It started out rough. It was pitchy in places. It’s a big fun song, but it was just alright. Paula told her ‘you know you’re a good singer. You’re very very good.’ That being said, it was pitchy, but midway through she found her zone. Syesha looked great midway through to the end. Simon thought it was a great choice of song. He just thought she looked nervous and she needed to get past it, but it was much better than last week.

Next up were Chikezie Eze and Ramiele Malubay.

Chikezie was up first. He used to work at LAX. When he got the results last week he thought he was going home. When it came down to it, he thought Danny did better than him and he was ready to go home. He was a security guy at LAX. He was raised on Nigerian culture music and was surprised his mom knew any of the U.S. oldies classics.
What he Sang: “She’s a Woman”

What he Wore: A Justin Timberlake ensemble, Outkast style, with a white shirt, golf over sweater, and jeans

In between, Ryan danced gaily, though we’re not altogether sure why.

What we Thought: Initially, he created a down home, square dance feel to “She’s a Woman” Then it became a poor attempt at a Rolling Stones’ “She’s a Woman.” It’s somewhat spastic and rocky, but with a down home twist. He stutters. He spits. He is completely inaudible. I think John Lennon just rolled over in his grave. It was very church revival-ish, only with a jug can band. He ended with a Michael Jackson note that MJ would have been jealous of, if he bothered to perform anymore.

What the Judges Said: Randy said, and we quote, “Dog, let me tell you. I was thoroughly entertained. I loved the arrangement. It was dope. Who knew? You smashed it.”

Paula said that this was exactly what she was talking about (like we’re supposed to remember anything bob & weave Paula says). “You started with ‘Oh Brother where Art Thou’, and then you changed it up.”

According to Paula, the reward paid off. Simon was really surprised that he agreed with Paula and Randy. What he loved about it is that Chikezie has changed. He took control of the stage. It was unique and he looked drunk halfway through. It was terrific.

Ramiele said she works at a sushi place, pours soy sauce, and smells like soy sauce a lot. She comes from a musical family. Her sister plays guitar and drums. Her parents play old school music. She’s singing the song she is both due to memories and since her close friends have left the show.

What she Sang: “In My Life”

What she Wore: A black strapless dress with a white belt

What we Thought: She chose the Selena meets the Beatles, semi-traditional route. She was a little breathier than necessary. If we are choosing a tribute to this song, I’ve heard Bette Midler do a hell of a lot better, but she wasn’t trying to slow it down to a turtle’s crawl. It was too R&B to suit my needs. She sounded better than the others, but it’s not overly memorable in a good way either. Bad idea on the last few notes, too, with the last note sounding horrible.

What the Judges Said: Randy thought it was kinda pretty, but kinda pretty boring. It just sorta laid there. Paula started out by saying ‘you look lovely’, which in Paula speak means she hated it. It was safe and Ramiele is amazing so her voice can take her many places. According to the Cold Hearted Snake, she could have done better. She was holding back. Simon was bored to tears throughout the entire song from the awful standing on the stairs to the dreary song choice. He knows she’s better than that so he expected a lot better. Randy doesn’t know if she will be back next week, but Paula thinks she should be okay.

Jason Castro was up next. Before talking to Jason, Ryan said tonight featured music from the best band in the world and it’s all for us…in the audience. But let me tell you, it sure as hell ain’t for me.

Jason is in college with a minor in music, but he failed a music class. AI is crazy. He loved the Beatles and felt they were revolutionary.

What he Sang: “If I Fell”

What he Wore: A pair of light gray slacks, a white button down and vest

What we Thought: He has that damn guitar again. I find it very hard to think of the idea that he’s going almost exactly on the arrangement of the Beatles. His voice is not as tender and it’s very boring. There are off key notes. He cant hit the high notes, but he left them in the arrangement. So, he ends up with a nails on the chalkboard arrangement that reminds me of something very weak and whiny. It was awful, down to the last face spasm.

Dom was right by saying Lennon and McCartney were an extension of the instruments they played, be it the piano or guitar. Jason just doesn’t have that with his guitar. The songs were very soul inspiring when they sang them. They never made a half-assed attempt at anything, but it felt that way here, with Jason singing.

What the Judges Said: Randy said he liked it, but didn’t love it. It is one of his favorite songs of all. He needed to be more heartfelt. It was alright. Big surprise, Paula disagreed, because what is so special and unique is that she felt Jason’s heart. It’s a special connection. He didn’t do all the runs, but he does have an emotional connecion and that’s all he needs. Apparently, if you’re on a Rum & Coke diet, that’s all you need, but those of us who were sober, needed more than just mediocrity. Simon, asked Paula how she knew there was an emotional connection. Last week was great and this week was not as good.

Carly Smithson was next. Amanda is her roommate (poor thing). She was polite about it, but didn’t seem thrilled. She misses Ireland and her family and friends, who all live there. She has been in the U.S. for three years. She bartends and waitresses, and on Sunday she plays music. She sings “Come Together” every week and that’s what she’s singing tonight.

What she Sang: “Come Together”

What she Wore: A black leather skirt, tights, and blue satin dress top

What we Thought: It sounds like the Jimi Hendrix version of “Come Together”. Her voice is incredibly beautiful, so that’s definitely a plus. We don’t hate it. We actually kind of like it. It’s pretty modern, which we appreciate. It’s got some blues influence mixed with rock. She gives a good performance. It was our favorite so far.

What the Judges Said: Randy said, “That felt amazing didn’t it? You were strong, confident, and sounded amazing.” According to him it was a stellar performance.

Paula felt like she was watching a star. Simon said week after week, he thought she chose the wrong song…until now. This reminds him of six years ago, with Kelly Clarkson.

David Cook was ready to rock. He grew up in a quiet town, worked at a bar in Tulsa and occasionally played shows there. He chose Ashtyn’s favorite Beatles song, but won’t play guitar because the song is powerful as is. Either way, we’re rather miffed he chose it.

What he Sang: “Eleanor Rigby”

What he Wore: A t-shirt, jeans, a vest, and interestingly cropped hair

What we Thought: The arrangement is rockier than The Beatles. There are some pitch problems here and there. He jumps the gun occasionally. It wasn’t the worst arrangement, but it was definitely a disappointment to hear this happen to Ash’s favorite Beatles song. We think had he worked out some of the kinks it could have been a little bit better, but he wasn’t ready to take on one of the best Beatles songs ever. It wasn’t meant to be emo punk metal.

What the Judges Said: Randy said he could rock out on Idol. He was doing his thing though it was pitchy at first, but it was rockin. He got it. Paula has been telling everyone he’s the dark horse. He’s a thoroughbred. He’s a front man here on AI. Simon thought it was brilliant. For two weeks now, if the show remains a talent show (not a popularity contest), he could win the entire thing.

Brooke White was up next. She moved to LA from Arizona to work on music. She was a nanny working with two twin babies. Life has changed in an exciting way and she’s grateful. When she found out about the Beatles option, she was excited. Every week she grows on us and we like her a little more.

What she Sang: “Let it Be”

What she Wore: A brown silk patterned dress and a black belt, with her hair pulled to the side

What we Thought: She played the piano for this song. The piano sounded great, but she had some small pitch problems. As it’s the beginning, she could work it out, since the arrangement sounds nice. She added a little bit of country influence from the sounds of it. Her vocals are not as strong as they need to be for this, but we have to admit, its one of our more favorable performances tonight. We didn’t hate it, but we think she needed a little more work on the vocals for this one to be perfect. What won us over is the fact she put her soul into it, and seemed to appreciate the artists who created such a beautiful song.

What the Judges Said: Randy didn’t know if it was her strongest performance. He loved the conviction and she took a big song and gave it a heartfelt performance. He’s a fan. Paula said this is her niche. She’s picking songs where we can feel her heart. It makes people fall in love with Brooke. Simon thought it was one of the best performances of the night. He thought it was a brilliant choice of song. She has done it three weeks running. It was believable.

David Hernandez was up next. We kept waiting for him to talk about his job as a stripper, but dang it, he just didn’t mention working at Dicks! He got fired from a pizza place. We’re wondering if this was before or after Dicks. He’s majoring in Broadcast Journalism in college. If singing doesn’t work out, he’s set to become the next Ryan Seacrest. He says he’s singing one of his favorite songs.

What he Sang: “I Saw Her Standing There”

What he Wore: A white button down, tie, vest, and jeans

What we Thought: I didn’t like the runs. It has a very 70s cheese appeal. He’s going off pitch because he thinks he’s back stripping and he needs to run and move. It’s a boring arrangement. He is weak as far as this one goes and he’s preforming like Taylor Hicks, but with notably better moves.

What the Judges Said: Randy said he has a big voice, but this was too overdone. He was lost from the jump. There was too much going on. Paula, once again, hated it because she started out by complimenting him. “You know I love your voice.” Then she said she felt he overdid it. Simon said, no, no, no. It was corny verging on desperate. It was all a little bit rabbit in the headlights. It wasn’t a strong performance.

Up next was Amanda “Skunky” Overmyer. She said she’s a loner that sits in the corner. Skunky’s a nurse in billable sales. Thank Goodness she’s not working with patients. It’s boring where Skunky lives and she rides a Harley with her whole family. She’s putting her spin on the song she’s singing. Skunky’s gonna rock it. This is what scares us, because Skunky rocking sucks pretty bad.

What she Sang: “You Can’t Do That”

What she Wore: It looks like something from Steven Tyler’s closet. She has on black and white striped pants. She has her scarves and necklaces on again and a black tank top. She looks like a nasty hooker skunk with curled hair, her white skunk trail in her dark hair and a gap between her front teeth. Hey, I’m just guessing the gap completes the ensemble.

What we Thought: The song should be renamed, “She Can’t Do That.” Skunky’s attempting to sound like Janis doing the Beatles. The problem here is that Janis never tried to do the Beatles. This isn’t anything new. Same shitty voice with a different song. She’s pushing the song along too much. You cant understand whats coming out of her mouth and its 100% like every other week. It’s tiresome and disgusting.

Even if the band did sound nice, Skunky won’t shut up, so it’s not doing her any favors. She’s loud, and nasty. Skunky broke in the middle of the end note, to catch her breath and continued singing it. That’s a big singer no-no. You can’t understand a flippin’ word she says. Didn’t Skunky ever hear of enunciation? Even the biggest rockers pause to enunciate from time to time. I can understand what Courtney Love sings, and heck, she’s doped up on heroin 99.9% of the time. Unless Skunky gets into Death Metal she has no hope. She’s worse than Sanjaya (who at least tried to change things up every week), and that’s saying a lot. Go home Skunky. You’re an insult to the music industry…road whore.

Not only is John rolling in his coffin, but he’s gotten up, got a gun, and re-shot himself, just to put his corpse out of its misery so he doesn’t have to endure the torture that is Skunky. We’re lucky after these performances that Paul’s not on some cliff somewhere, trying to fall off the edge.

What the Judges Said: Randy said that this is a true mark of great songs. She took a Beatles song and rocked it out in a Southern bar kind of way. It was very cool. Uhm, unless he’s talking about a honky tonk bar, where she’d obviously fit in, she didn’t rock anything. Paula said Skunky was a star up there. Paula is blown away, by her Vicodin and coke (wink wink) obviously. Simon didn’t think it was as good as last week. It was like she was slurring and shouting. It was a very good thing that she’s here because she’s a breath of fresh air, but still not as good as last week.

Michael Johns and Kristy Lee Cook were up after the break.

Michael Johns has been living in America for 10 years. He’s been in LA for four. He’s done everything from labor work to tennis coaching. His goal is to keep music in his life. Getting to do a Beatles song is incredible for him, and he hopes to do it justice. According to Ryan, he’s singing one of Lennon’s favorite songs.

What he Sang: “Across the Universe

What he Wore: A black suit jacket, t-shirt, and dark slacks

What we Thought: It’s hard to hear this song, in this arrangement and not think of John Lennon and the loss that everyone has suffered with his demise. However, that being said, Michael Johns doing this song, blows us away. He’s incredible. We knew that going in, but his voice is so amazing in this song. Removing the Beatles, Michael Johns deserves to be in this competition and definitely deserves to stay until the end.

What the Judges Said: Randy doesn’t know if this was his best performance. He could have changed some notes. It was alright, but a little sleepy. Paula disagrees. It takes inner strength to stand with the mic, center stage, and just sing. There was a connection and it was brilliant. Simon agrees with Randy. He should have done what Carly did. It was a little bit monotonous. He needs to let himself go. They haven’t heard what he’s capable of doing.

Kristy Lee Cook lives in a small town. AI is the opposite of what she’s used to. Her family is all into music. She listened to the Beatles growing up. She wants to make the song her own. Fat chance there. She’s making it country.

What she Sang: “Eight Days a Week”

What she Wore: Ripped Jeans and a sequined, silver tank top

What we Thought: She’s dancing like she’s a rocker and she is singing like she’s in a hoedown. I like country, but she’s slaughtering this song. For one, I hate gender changing and she keeps saying boy instead of girl. The notes….are okay, but the arrangement is the worst of the night. I don’t know if she’s trying to mimic Dolly Parton (yes I wrote this before Simon spoke) with a distorted run fetish or if it’s just coincidence, but I hate this more than just about anything other than Skunky’s performance. It’s disgusting.

I may not like her, but I think Yoko should get ready to sue American Idol because the final note just put the final nail in John’s coffin.

What the Judges Said: Randy liked the arrangement and the idea, but vocally the runs were forced and it should have just been a country jig. It was half and half. Paula didn’t like it. It’s rare to hear Paula be so honest. She must have been outta coke. Damn you Ryan for not getting it fast enough during break! Paula said she’s trying to sound like Lorrie Morgan. She took the country advice too much to heart. Paula just didn’t get it. Simon thought it was horrendous. She sounded like, and I quote, “Dolly Parton on helium.” It was very brave, but a foolish thing to do. It was ghastly country fair, both her and the banjo players.

David Archuleta closed things out, and honestly, it was actually quite disappointing. He lives in Utah and is a junior in high school. He’s the oldest. His mom likes salsa, and dad is into jazz. David isn’t in love with jazz. He -gaspchokewhimpers- isn’t too familiar with the Beatles, but loves the song he’s going to sing. Blasphemy! He knows Stevie Wonder’s version and so he was comfortable with that.

What he Sang: “We Can Work It Out”

What he Wore: A black button down and faded jeans

What we Thought: He came from the steps. He forgot the words, to a fucking Beatles song. I find it hard to respect any musician that doesn’t know the Beatles. This is his worst performance, so far. He doesn’t seem to have any idea what the words are, so he is relying on his backup singers. He’s doing more of the Stevie Wonder version, and truth be told, he’s not doing Stevie or the Beatles justice. It would be easy to lose respect for him on this one. It is by far the most awful thing he has performed.

The Mediocre: Chikezie was ok when it came to vocals and so was Ramiele, but both just slaughtered their songs. It should be enough to keep them on, we think, but then again, Asia’h got booted last week, so who knows. David Cook was just okay, because he didn’t do “Eleanor” justice.

The Bad: Syesha is the new singer on a cruise ship. David Archuleta really sucked and while it won’t affect him, our respect for him has gone down quite a bit. Jason Castro has the weakest vocal of the guys. He needs to drop the guitar and stop the falsetto. Otherwise, he might be fine.

The Horrendous: Kristy Lee Cook was vying for worst of the night with Skunky. On a scale of 1-10, Kristy Lee was a -1 and Skunky was a -47. It’s time for Skunky to go, though if anyone else deserves it, it’s Kristy Lee.

Who’s Staying: Carly, David Archuleta, Michael Johns, Brooke White, David Cook and Chikezie should be safe. If any of them go, I’d be surprised.

Who’s Going: Since Skunky has her biker friends voting for her, we might be forced to deal with her for another week. Our bet is on Kristy Lee or David Hernandez.

Who Deserves to Go: No doubt, it’s been way over Skunky Overmeyer’s time to go. If not her, Kristy Lee or Jason Castro need to hit the road jack and not come back. Still this doesn’t necessarily mean any of them are going.

Technorati Tags: American Idol, Top 12, the Beatles, John Lennon, Paul McCartney, Kristy Lee Cook, David Archuleta, Skunky Overmyer, Amanda, Carly Smithson, David Cook, David Hernandez, Michael Johns, Jason Castro, Brooke White, Syesha Mercado, Ramiele Malubay, Chekezie Eze