Devotees, Pretenders and Wannabes: Disgusting Disability Related Freaks

I just had to write a piece on this disgusting phenomenon that I know has been going on for a while, but I just haven’t had the chance to write on it, until now. This is something that hits pretty close to home. I was born with a muscle disease. It’s called Spinal Muscular Atrophy. It’s similar to Muscular Dystrophy and is covered under the 40+ neuromuscular diseases in the MD family. It’s really too complex to explain. All anyone really needs to know is that it’s like MD, but isn’t technically MD. This usually just means I tell people I have Muscular Dystrophy. It’s much easier that way.

That being said, I should tell you I’m wheelchair bound. I have been since I was 16. Before then, I used a scooter to get around and walked with a limp. I should also add this is going to be a discussion of something that is quite graphic and mature in nature. I’m warning anyone under 18 to stop reading and turn away now. You have plenty of time to worry about subjects like this after you become an adult.

I don’t know if I like calling this a phenomenon because there is nothing phenomenal about it, but for lack of a better word I’ve called it that. Ultimately, it’s a craze that only certain people seem to be going through and it’s becoming a big thing on the internet, with support sites for these psycho-sickos popping up around the net. A doctor called the three groups Devotees, Pretenders and Wannabes. There’s a whole group of these lunatics and I don’t know which group of the three is the most disgusting. All of them are suffering from severe paraphelias. Of course, no excuses should be made. Pedophilia is a severe form of paraphelia and it’s downright disturbing. Likewise, the DPW movement is equally as disgusting.

Next to children, who is one of society’s most vulnerable groups? It is a pretty good and accurate guess to say those with disabilities. Being a person with a disability, I’d have to say, in many instances, this is sadly the truth. A lot of this is because folks with disabilities have few governmental protections and not as many opportunities to flourish. Sure, many of us are smart enough to overcome our disabilities when given the right resources, but those aren’t always out there, so in many instances, we are left vulnerable.

Like children, who must fear pedophiles, those of us with disabilities must fear DPWs. They are predators who get sexual satisfaction and pleasure from being deranged assholes. I don’t know any other, nicer way to put it. You could argue, oh these people are sick. Yeah, Ted Bundy was sick, too. Sick in the head, but we still wanted him to go to prison and die. Still, there is no punishment for DPWs because by governmental laws, they aren’t doing anything wrong.

First, let me explain what the Devotees are. These are people who are sexually attracted to disabilities. And no, they aren’t attracted to the people with the disability quite as much as they are the disability itself, the assistive devices used by the disabled person, etc. It’s actually quite disgusting because these people will date disabled individuals not because they like them, but because it turns them on to see them walk, to feel their braces or wheelchair, or to watch their limp. Sometimes, these devotees can’t even technically orgasm with the disabled person (while having sex). They have to go in the other room and masturbate while thinking about the person’s disability or their assistive devices (canes, wheelchairs, braces, or the like).

I should make it clear that just because someone dates or marries a person in a wheelchair, this does not make them a Devotee. Most of the people, who do date/marry people with disabilities, are normal, healthy individuals. The difference between them and Devotees is that Devotees get pleasure from the disability not the person. The average person dates someone in a wheelchair because they like the person. They can see past the disability. I know my girlfriend has never dated anyone with a disability before me. She would rather have me out of my wheelchair and walking then keep me in there.

There was a case of a Devotee who ended up marrying a man with crutches and braces on his legs. It only took a day or so before she was no longer attracted to him, but she was forever attracted to the braces he wore. She would have obligatory sex with him once a week or month depending on her job, which had her traveling a lot. She got more pleasure from getting herself off and thinking about his crutches then spending time with him. I feel terribly bad for the guy who thought his wife liked him for him, while hiding her true desires. After some time and further diagnosis, her husband went into a wheelchair full time. Selfishly, his wife began to loathe him, because how dare he take away the limp she loved so much and those “beautiful” braces and crutches?

The Pretenders are an interesting group. I like to call them the liars. It seems to suit them better. They are even worse than the Devotees if you can believe that. The Pretenders do exactly what their name says. They get enjoyment in pretending to be disabled. I’m not joking. Not only can able-bodied people begin to question the authenticity of a person’s disability, they put constant scrutiny on those of us who are really disabled. What if we are Pretenders, too? I can go get a letter from my doctor to confirm my disability, but who is really going to carry that letter around with them? That’d be a major pain in the rear.

Needless to say, the woman I mentioned previously was a Pretender, as well as being a Devotee. When she would go away on business trips she’d rent a wheelchair. Then she’d go around to the malls in the area (after work) and drag herself in and out of her car, into the wheelchair she rented and then she’d wheel around the mall. It turned her on to have others watch her move her ‘gimp’ legs by lifting them with her hands and acting like they were paralyzed.

She was sexually aroused by the thought of other disabled people watching her wheel around and pretend to be just like them. She desired for them to accept her into their fold. She wanted them to accept her. It’s a little too twisted and warped for my logical brain to comprehend, but then I’m not deranged enough to want to have my disability. I’d gladly be a walker again if I could.

I will say I once encountered a Pretender online. I’ve even been accused of being a Pretender myself. That is, until the woman met me and realized it was true. I was in a wheelchair. The internet has given Pretenders a place to be Pretenders in their anonymity. The internet has also caused damage to those of us with disabilities because Pretenders have led others to stop trusting those of us who are telling the truth about ourselves and our disabilities. It’s sick to think that all of the disability communities online could have at least one or two Pretenders on it, trying to get “understanding” and “acceptance” from those of us who are disabled. It makes me cautious of those I meet online who claim to be disabled. How do I know they really are and how can I trust them?

The Pretender I met used to go to a chat site I hung out at. I’ve never been one to hide my disability online or off. I’ve always tried to be an advocate for the community and spread the message that being disabled doesn’t mean you’re broken or incapable of living a fulfilling life. This person told me they were in a wheelchair. We bonded because we shared the common thread of both being in wheelchairs. Eventually, a mutual friend who had met her in real life confessed to me that the Pretender was lying. She wasn’t in a wheelchair nor had she been in a wheelchair. It was hurtful since I’d shared disability horror stories with her and opened up to her about life with a disability only to find out she was lying. Now I’m much more cautious about who I trust when it comes to disability matters online.

After confronting the Pretender, she told me how envious she was of me. She wished she was in a wheelchair, too. She wished she couldn’t walk, as well. Her lying pretty much ended our friendship and made me fearful of her mental state. This actually leads quite well into the Wannabes. You see, the Pretender I met in an online chat room wasn’t just a Pretender. She was a Wannabe. This last group in the DPW triad are the scariest group, at least in terms of the lengths they’ll go to become true, disabled individuals.

I first heard of the Wannabes online in a television expose about a woman who had gone so far as to make her legs paralyzed so they would have to be amputated. It was a television show, that I watched online, which showed a bunch of Wannabes. I can’t remember all of the specific individuals on the show, but I do remember the various methods used to make each Wannabe’s legs immobile. The one woman had wrapped her legs, and bound them cutting off circulation on a continuous basis. Eventually, the binding was so tight and harmful her legs became dead. They ended up having to amputate both legs. There was another man who was so desperate to become an amputee he cut off part of his own leg, to the point where he had to be rushed to the hospital and have it cut off.

Another story of a Wannabe can be found on the internet. This story gave me the chills and not in a good way. This man was so desperate to become disabled he placed his legs in dry ice. This killed the cells and destroyed his legs to the point where he needed an amputation. At first, I couldn’t believe this was true, but there is a whole group of sick individuals who believe their legs do not belong on their bodies.

They believe they should be disabled. They want to join those of us who are disabled, like being in a wheelchair is some elite club. While those of us in wheelchairs work so hard to find a cure to get out of our chairs, these fuck nuts make themselves disabled because its cool. It’s what they always wanted. Until they became disabled they were “never whole”. That’s their story and reasoning and once they get into their wheelchairs, it makes them feel good and proud to be disabled.

Deep down, I know, they aren’t truly disabled. They aren’t deserving of the title of “person with a disability”. I don’t accept them into my community because they aren’t helping it out. They’re causing irreparable harm to it, themselves, and their families. The DPWs are fakers, liars, deranged, worthless, hopeless, messed up, jerk off, losers. I want nothing to do with them and I can only hope those of you reading this feel the same way.

If you can do anything, for those of us who truly are people with disabilities, please don’t pity Devotees, Pretenders and Wannabes. Educate yourself and others about this disturbing trend in society. Educate yourself and your family about them the way you would pedophiles. They are just as bad and nearly as dangerous. They are lying to people, pretending to like people in wheelchairs, and harming themselves while making excuses for their actions. These people HAVE NO EXCUSES.

So, their Daddy or Mom didn’t love them. My Mom treated me like shit. I got over it and moved on. I’m not out trying to make myself more disabled. My girlfriend’s dad is an alky who she told to get out of her life when she was four because she knew his drinking was bad. She’s pretty certain he didn’t love her enough since he’s still out boozing. I can assure you she isn’t sticking her legs in dry ice or trying to make sweet love to my wheelchair while I’m not looking. So, they had a crappy life. Okay, let’s make it a little harder by joining a minority group that isn’t really protected by the government and faces oppression daily. That makes loads of sense.

Just an FYI. Going back to the Pretenders for just a second, I wanted to give you all some advice for tips on how to know if someone is a Pretender or not, especially online. I would say photographs would be one of the easiest ways to find out if someone was a Pretender, but sadly, the Pretender I knew stole someone’s picture (a random picture of someone in a wheelchair they found on Google) and tried to pass it off as her.

I would say multiple photos with someone in a wheelchair, who you can tell is the same person in all of them, is a pretty good indicator they are telling the truth. My Myspace has pics of me both walking (before 16) and not walking. You can clearly make out the back of my wheelchair and the headrest in at least two different pictures and you can see I look similar in each picture. Remember, not everyone is so trusting so don’t just assume a person who says they are in a wheelchair is pretending because they won’t show you a picture. Eventually, if you become long term friends, they will share some photos and you will be able to tell.

If the person seems knowledgeable about their disability then chances are they are disabled. The Pretender I knew wouldn’t talk about her supposed “accident”. Most people I know who are paralyzed will mention how they got hurt. It is sensitive to talk about though, so they might not be so keen to talk about it more than to say I fell off a horse, got in a car accident or even I got shot. I actually had a good friend at Wright State University who got shot and was paralyzed from the neck down so it’s really not outlandish to believe. By the way, if someone in a wheelchair says they went to or are going to Wright State or Berkeley (two of the most wheelchair accessible schools in the U.S.) then they are probably telling the truth. In many cases, Pretenders don’t do their research so unless they read this article (which who knows, they might) they wouldn’t know Wright State for sure since it’s not one of Ohio’s biggest schools and is only really known by many nationwide for its disability program if the people are disabled themselves. Of course, I know many in wheelchairs who go to plenty of other schools whether they are overly accessible or not, so don’t assume because they don’t go to these two schools that they are a Pretender.

When it comes to a disability someone is born with then you can bet they are an expert on the disability. If someone says they have MD, but can’t tell you what type, be cautious. There are over 40 different types and I’ve never met one person with MD (and trust me, I know many through the Internet and MDA Camp) who didn’t know their type, if only in name. I can tell you so much about SMA and how it’s progressed for me, I’m either a doctor researching and treating SMA or I’m a patient. Look for clues that tell you the person is lying and chances are you’ll catch the Pretender in a lie.

I’ve digressed quite a bit from my original point, but I felt it quite important to tell everyone reading this how to avoid Pretenders merely because it is becoming a problem that affects more than just the Pretenders and their victims (the people they fool into believing them). My point in writing this was to make you all aware of DPWs. I want you to know who and what they are. I want them to know lying doesn’t get them anywhere and those of us in the disabled community will never accept them.

If you are a Devotee, Pretender or Wannabe, seek medical assistance immediately. Your behavior is not normal. You need help. Your lies only make those of us with disabilities dislike you because you gave up what we wish we had, on purpose. Having a disability is hard. It isn’t fun. We do what we do to live our lives, but you just harm our efforts by trying to fit in with a group in which you don’t and won’t ever belong. I’m not one to exclude anyone, but on this issue I have to put my foot down and hopefully I’m not alone in this.

Technorati Tags: Disability, Unacceptance, Disgusting, Devotees, Wannabes, Pretenders, paraphelia, sexual desire, pedophiles, opinion