Well, there’s no question Chloe Lattanzi, the untalented, hack daughter of Olivia Newton John, is a freak. I don’t mean a cool freak you can respect either. She’s an off key, wannabe singer who doesn’t understand the point of emphasizing her words and has this guttural sounding lisp that makes her sound disgustingly stupid. As a trained singer, I can’t even listen without wanting to rip my hair out (and my head is pretty much shaved - not much hair there to tear)!

Last Thursday, the progeny of the rich and famous on Rock the Cradle had to sing a song that defined themselves. Chloe Lattanzi just happened to pick the song “Freak on a Leash”. We already know she’s a freak who likes to fill her lips with so much collagen I fear they will explode. She also had that anorexia thing going on and I seem to feel like she lost weight everywhere, but in her lips. Either way, she didn’t have to tell us something we already knew and ruin a perfectly good Korn song in the process.

You can check out her off key, screechy, overly bad performance here.

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People have said that America loves an underdog. Some of these people have said that it’s even more true when it comes to American Idol. Maybe that is why tonight one of the most talented of the remaining six got booted from the show. While mediocre talent remains such as Jason, who Simon has said wasn’t able to sing well but was charming, and Syesha, who should have been gone weeks ago, Carly was sent home. Andrew Lloyd Weber week did her in when it should have easily done in Jason, if not one of the others. It’s sad to see that America got it wrong when the answer was as easy as could be.

The good news is that Carly took it like a champ and refused to cry. She showed America what they would be missing and went out with a bang. The other good news is that she shouldn’t have any problem getting a record contract after this. I cannot wait until that happens because I look forward to picking up her CD when it hits shelves.

Rather than complain about the obvious I am going to end this with a couple of Carly’s best performances.

Carly, if you’re reading this….I am a fan and you will be missed.

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I just had to write a piece on this disgusting phenomenon that I know has been going on for a while, but I just haven’t had the chance to write on it, until now. This is something that hits pretty close to home. I was born with a muscle disease. It’s called Spinal Muscular Atrophy. It’s similar to Muscular Dystrophy and is covered under the 40+ neuromuscular diseases in the MD family. It’s really too complex to explain. All anyone really needs to know is that it’s like MD, but isn’t technically MD. This usually just means I tell people I have Muscular Dystrophy. It’s much easier that way.

That being said, I should tell you I’m wheelchair bound. I have been since I was 16. Before then, I used a scooter to get around and walked with a limp. I should also add this is going to be a discussion of something that is quite graphic and mature in nature. I’m warning anyone under 18 to stop reading and turn away now. You have plenty of time to worry about subjects like this after you become an adult.

I don’t know if I like calling this a phenomenon because there is nothing phenomenal about it, but for lack of a better word I’ve called it that. Ultimately, it’s a craze that only certain people seem to be going through and it’s becoming a big thing on the internet, with support sites for these psycho-sickos popping up around the net. A doctor called the three groups Devotees, Pretenders and Wannabes. There’s a whole group of these lunatics and I don’t know which group of the three is the most disgusting. All of them are suffering from severe paraphelias. Of course, no excuses should be made. Pedophilia is a severe form of paraphelia and it’s downright disturbing. Likewise, the DPW movement is equally as disgusting.

Next to children, who is one of society’s most vulnerable groups? It is a pretty good and accurate guess to say those with disabilities. Being a person with a disability, I’d have to say, in many instances, this is sadly the truth. A lot of this is because folks with disabilities have few governmental protections and not as many opportunities to flourish. Sure, many of us are smart enough to overcome our disabilities when given the right resources, but those aren’t always out there, so in many instances, we are left vulnerable.

Like children, who must fear pedophiles, those of us with disabilities must fear DPWs. They are predators who get sexual satisfaction and pleasure from being deranged assholes. I don’t know any other, nicer way to put it. You could argue, oh these people are sick. Yeah, Ted Bundy was sick, too. Sick in the head, but we still wanted him to go to prison and die. Still, there is no punishment for DPWs because by governmental laws, they aren’t doing anything wrong.

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In an earlier post, I listed my opinion of who were the bottom three contenders for American Idol’s Andrew Lloyd Weber week. All in all, the contestants did far better than I thought they would. I cringed when I heard Sir Andrew would be the mentor for this week, assuming that many of them would make a mockery of the singing institution. In actuality, it wasn’t that bad. My favorite picks did pretty good, with two of them going above and beyond what I expected. Unlike the last post, which listed my least favorites in no uncertain order, this post has everything in order from my least favorite going first and I have saved the best for last.

Randy always says, when you can sing, you can sing anything. David Archuleta can sing. His performance was similar to all of the others he has performed since being selected for Idol. It was good and he definitely has what it takes to be a contender until the end. Still, I would like to see something new from him. When you consider that it’s all about the singing, there was no way I could put him in my least favorites because even though this was not entirely memorable he definitely hit all the right notes.

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Andrew Lloyd Weber week was going to be tough. I knew that going in. So few of the remaining six are able to show up with that presence that is necessary where musical theatre is concerned. Yes, most of them can sing. However, it doesn’t mean most of them deserve to be able to sing classically or on Broadway. It takes a special kind. Last night, some of the idols proved that they are the kind that can sing these kind of songs and that they deserve to stay. Unfortunately, some of them didn’t.

At this stage in the competition it’s really time to weed out the losers and let the potential winners do their thing. The winners are becoming more and more obvious every day. I don’t think at this stage there is any question of who will be left standing at the end of the competition. The question will be which order the remaining four go home in. Last night may have changed the order I was expecting just a little bit, which I will explain in a minute. For now, let’s look at my picks for the bottom three performances last night.

These are in no uncertain order at this point, but here they are nonetheless.

The judges all raved that Syesha had such a musical theatre persona and if that’s truly the case then it’s one more reason that she doesn’t belong on American Idol. While she might have done well this week (I don’t think she was all that hot, but…) in the past she has bombed repeatedly. Her booming voice either comes off as shrieking or screaming and she is too over-confident (nobody loves Syesha quite as much as she loves herself), without cause. I know she went for the sexy thing and it caught people’s attention but that didn’t make it good. Looking at the others on stage she is running out of hot air and one semi-decent performance along with a sea of mediocre ones just means that her weeks are numbered. I don’t think she will go home this week, but within the next two weeks I predict she will be gone.

I like Brooke. I really do like her. Before yesterday’s performance I had her coined to go home in two weeks. However, now I’m not so sure. She lost her words and that obviously frightened her. Starting over was the brave and admirable thing to do, but once she did her confidence was shot and her voice seemed strained. I don’t think one bad performance should be the cause of her going home, but I fear this may do the trick for dear Brooke White. I think she’s has a good chance of getting a deal, most of them do, really, but it’s sad to see her go on what could have been an okay night for her had the word memory problem not cropped up.

This wasn’t his best performance. Then again, it wasn’t his worst. The problem is that he was so far out of his element that it was uncomfortable to watch. I just don’t get why Jason was even ever a part of this competition to begin with. Sure he’s unusual, which always makes for a good choice, but in the end, there were plenty of better or more suitable options for American Idol. I have been thinking he would be going home for a few weeks. Now is as good a time as any. I am pretty sure that if he doesn’t go tonight then it will be Brooke. Any way you look at it he doesn’t have more than a week or two, at most, left in him.

Technorati Tags: American Idol, Syesha, Jason Castro, Brooke White, Andrew Lloyd Weber, Singing, Music, Evita, Votes, Worst Performances

They both technically lost when they were on Season Five. Kelly lost by more than Katherine, but losing is losing even if you come in second. However, now it seems the tides have certainly turned and while Pickler has excelled in her genre, McPhee has been placed in the leftover fluff pile to rot.

They both have new albums they are working on (I am guessing one will be more successful than the other…again) and they both recently came back to AI to perform live. The performances are both below. The question is…who do you think performed better?

Katherine McPhee sang during the first Beatles Week.

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Amanda has left the building. In fact, by now it’s possible that she’s left Hollywood. She’s packed up her black clothing, her Aerosmith necklaces, and she’s headed back home. I have to admit that I didn’t think that you would do it America.

I thought you would leave her on, until her rousing rendition of “Dreamlover” by Mariah Carey that came with a twist that sounded like something sang on the back of a truck during a rock n’ roll, honky tonk. But alas! You surprised me by saying goodbye to Amanda, who we at Literary Illusions have affectionately named “Skunky” since her hair reminds of us of that of a skunk, and saving those who attend the Idol concert from having to hear her bad renditions of any song she happens to sing.

Before I get into my personal goodbye, please enjoy a few moments of silence while you sit baffled listening to Skunky ruin the Beatles for the last time.

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Tonight was a hard evening for both of us. While we are both huge Beatles fans, Dom is by far, the biggest fan in the house. Singing the songs of Lennon/McCartney in a performance sort of way is sacreligious. That being said, there wasn’t much of a choice for any of us. The idols were doing songs by Lennon and McCartney whether we liked it or not. So, we tried to be more constructive than hateful for what they did, to ruin these wonderful songs.

To start things out, the top 12 got to perform in the big theater on a new loud set..that Ryan seemed totally proud of, by the way he kept showing it off and grinning like a Cheshire cat. He acted like he designed it personally. I don’t know why he was bragging about the horrendous thing. It’s gaudy and feels impractical. The only good part of it is the fact that it offers a trippy light show. The band is located higher, in their own penthouse, and the stage is larger. It also offers fans in the upper deck and a mosh pit. I guess if the idols and the judges like it, its okay, but from home, it looks like crap.

On to the judges, Paula was decked out in old lady bronze. She also had her typical tipsy (Rum & Coke) look on her face. Simon looked like he raided Enrique Iglesias’ closet with his metrosexual white, button down shirt, unbuttoned part way to expose his bare chest. Randy….looked like Randy. He wore a black long-sleeved tee, with white writing down the sleeves and some bling bling…aka a silver cross.

Randy mentioned that he thought the songs were the greatest songs in music and they will last forever. Paula thought the songs were full of melody, but if the idols risk it it by switching it up, they better be worth it and some can change things up. Simon said the songs are only as difficult as the ones that are chosen. “She Loves You” is easy… “Yesterday” is hard…duh.

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One of the biggest motivators that leads me down the path of unwanted temptation is stress. Stress makes a lot of people eat. That’s because food tastes good (depending on what you eat) and people feel good when they are enjoying a delicious meal. I admit it. I used to eat when I felt stressed. That’s probably part of my problem. It’s normal, to eat when stressed. I think that, like craving sleep, it’s a natural reaction by your body. Food is familiar so your body craves that familiarity as much as it craves the taste.

I’ve been under a remarkable amount of stress lately. You can read all about it here or here or here if you’re so inclined. Why I’m stressed really doesn’t matter as much as whether I decided to cheat on my diet or not. I know I haven’t been keeping as up to date on what I’ve been eating, but I’m going to vow to try to do better. I’ve received some good feedback about this article series. I’d love for all of you to share your thoughts on my journey and your own personal weight loss journeys with me (and everyone else who reads this) in the comment section. It can be beneficial to lose weight together and I’d love to make some friends who have the same goals I do.

That being said, I am proud to report, I have not cheated. Yesterday, I ate a lean pocket for one meal. I’ve been especially enjoying the chicken quesadilla and chicken Parmesan varieties. I also like the flat bread chicken wraps, a lot by lean cuisine. I could live on that. I’ve also been eating progresso soup. Ash also bought me a can of Campbell’s low calorie gumbo. It was actually pretty good, as I had it two days ago. For my other meal, I had porterhouse steak.

I know that this probably isn’t the healthiest form of meat, but next to a small salad, I hadn’t had many calories for the day. With just the meat and salad, and no side dish of potatoes (like I used to eat), I was getting some much needed protein and I was enjoying my most favorite food on the planet.

All in all, with a 90 calorie snack pack of peanut butter Quaker oats mini delights, some of Ash’s low calorie, homemade steak sauce with my steak, and a 100 calorie pack, I came in at around 1280-1300 calories. (Note: I also am only drinking water unless otherwise noted) I’m finding it almost difficult to hit 1200 calories, especially when I haven’t been waking up early enough to enjoy breakfast. I know I need to make sure I have three meals a day, and I promise to try to do better in that area. Of course, I worry about eating less than 1200 calories a day.

I know the average person eats a 2000 calorie diet. Here I am eating 800 calories less, and I struggle to even get that many. I’m surprised how easy it is to cut calories. I’m also trying to measure fat content, nutritional value of foods, and making sure I’m getting enough vitamins and minerals. All of it can be difficult to figure out. I guess that is another reason why it is just so much easier to grab junk. It’s convenient. It’s easy to make (no fuss, no muss) and it does, often, taste good.

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Ryan introduced the crew tonight, as always. It’s the top 16, which means tonight is the top 8 men and the last night of being split up. When he introduced the judges it appeared that everyone was ready to get things moving.

Randy was looking himself tonight. He had on a fly t-shirt and his bling. Paula had on her bright, hooker getup with some scary hair. I don’t know what’s with the wannabe Farrah curly flip. Maybe she was doing it because it’s her 80s motif, but whatever it is, it isn’t working. Finally there was Simon, and well, he’s Simon. He looks as good as he always does and the slight scowl on his face said he was ready to get things moving.

Tonight’s theme is 80s music and each contestant has to tell about their most embarrassing moment.

Up first was Luke Menard. His special moment was when he was dressed up like a ballerina by his sister, when he was a child.

What he sang: “Jitterbug”

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